Current mood:	hopeful
Current music:	The Prodigy - No Good
Entry tags:	fandom: supernatural rps, fic pairing: jared/jensen, fiction

Long Time Coming Chapter 3/25
Title: Long Time Coming
Genre: Angst/romance/drama
Pairings: Jared/Jensen, some Jared/Sandy
Warnings: Language, possible smut, hard drug use!
Disclaimer: Ye...yea...nope don't own them.  I am not insinuating Chris and Steve are drug peddlers either, it is merely for this fic that they are supplying Jensen so I can create angsty situations which lead to manschmexin.
Rating: 15
Summary: Jensen can't handle being around Jared anymore, not when his feelings are so strong.  So when hiatus starts and Jared notices Jensen drawing away and acting strange can he find out what's happening in time to save him?

A/N: Thanks to realscape  for being an amazing beta.  Thanks for the comments :)

1~2~3~4~5~6~7~8~9~10~11~12~13~14~15~16~17~18~19~20~21~22~23~24~Epilogue~Soundtrack

Pushing open the door, he felt the familiar LA scene wash over him. Girls dressed in mini-dresses that barely covered their thighs, and guys dressed to score, making eyes at anything with breasts that walked past.

Everyone was tanned and beautiful, and hoping to make it as a film star.

Jensen sighed and tried to find his friends sitting at the bar, remembering suddenly why he didn’t often frequent places like this.  He was starting to regret coming out, he’d would’ve much preferred to stay at home and wallow in self pity.

A hand clamping down on his shoulder made him jump, and he spun around, forcing a smile onto his face when he recognised who it was.

“Chris, you asshole, you scared the shit outta me,” He smiled mechanically at his old friend.

“Jensen. Man, is it good to see you,” Chris drawled lazily, his eyes slightly out of focus, “Come over here, we gotta table.”

Jensen blinked at his friend’s demeanour, “Are you already drunk?”  He asked incredulously.

Chris just smiled secretively at him, and gestured for him to follow.  They reached a small table

towards the back of the bar, and Steve grinned up at him from where he was sitting with his arm around a small blonde woman.

“Jen!”  He cried excitedly, trying to stand up whilst also holding onto the girl, and ending up awkwardly groping her with his knees.

Jensen laughed properly and pulled his friend into a hug, “Good to see you,” He had to shout over the pounding music, as they were closer to the speakers here.

Then he noticed that Steve was swaying slightly on his feet and his eyes narrowed further as a dopey smile broke out on Steve’s face.

“Alright, what have you guys been smoking?”  He asked, quirking an eyebrow at them both. 

“Not smoking per se,” Chris giggled.  Jensen stared, had he just giggled?

“What do you mean?” He asked suspiciously. Any more forthcoming answers were delayed when the random blonde grabbed Steve’s head suddenly, and pulled him down into what looked like a rather sloppy kiss.

Jensen averted his eyes, preferring not to see his friend’s face get eaten off, and Chris nudged him, yelling, “She’s got friends…if you know what I mean?”

Jensen flushed slightly; he still hadn’t got around to telling his friends about his newly discovered sexuality.  Truth be told, it was still slightly freaking him out.  Hence the battle going on inside him right then, he just needed to drink a lot and forget that Jared existed.

He shook his head, and mumbled something about not being in the mood.

“Oh man I totally forgot,” Chris yelled sympathetically, “So you’re not over Danneel yet?”

Jensen took the easy way out and nodded, trying to make his features resemble someone who was feeling rejected.

“It’s just too soon,” He said, wondering if he could manage a tear.  He was an actor after all.

Chris clamped a hand on his shoulder, in what was apparently supposed to be a comforting gesture, and said, “I’m sorry man, she was a bitch anyway, right?”

Jensen felt bad, but things with Danneel had just sort of petered out. It had been nobody’s fault. It had made him feel empty inside that he hadn’t cared, but he had stopped thinking of Danneel in a romantic sense long before they broke up.  She had just been too far away for him to bother.

But he nodded, and pretended like all the blame could be set at her feet, because he was too chicken shit to let his two best friends know that he had just discovered that he probably liked guys.

Chris looked at him oddly for a few seconds, as though he was weighing up options in his mind, and Jensen raised an eyebrow as if to ask ‘what?’

“Just wondering something…Man, how down do you feel right now?”

Jensen considered the question, quite not really sure why exactly Chris was asking; but it was a valid point.  He hadn’t been feeling…like Jensen for a while now, not since he’d started wanting to fuck his co-star, anyway.

He settled for saying, “Down enough to want to know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Chris seemed to come to a decision and, nodding, he stood up and said, “Well, you’re gonna want to come with me then.”

Jensen sighed at the mystery of it all, but decided to humour his friend, and followed Chris as he pushed open the door at the back of the bar, which led into the alley behind it.

~*~*~*~

The sudden silence and fresh air hit him, and he inhaled deeply. The door swung shut, dulling the pounding music to a distant thrum in the background.

Chris was leaning against the grimy wall staring at Jensen, still with that dopy grin spread across his face.

“Well, what did you drag me out here for?”  He asked, starting to get annoyed, and wondering whether it had really been worth coming out to see his friends, since they were both obviously fucked out of their minds, “What’s with all the mystery?”

Just then the door banged open again and Steve walked out with his girl in tow, holding onto her as she was tripping over her own feet.

“You got it?”  Chris asked, mysteriously. Steve nodded, glancing at Jensen, as if just realising he was there.

“Got what?”  Jensen asked, seriously pissed now, “What are you guys talking about?”

“Since me an’ Steve got back from our tour, we’ve gotten to know this new crowd o’ guys,” Chris drawled, letting his accent slip into the familiar Texan twang Jensen was so used to, “Well, they introduced us to some new…substances.”

Jensen blinked, and waited for a more thorough explanation.

“You should try it man, it’s…like nothing else, you’ll feel…I feel…”  Steve trailed off as his grin spread, “It takes away everything man…the stress and the hurt…”

The girl nodded and leant back against the wall, mumbling something about the world spinning.

“Get over here, man,” Chris said.

Jensen joined them on the other side of the alley, trying to pretend that he wasn’t the slightest bit interested.

“I can’t believe this,” He scoffed looking around, “You’re actually peddling drugs in the back alley of some seedy bar in LA.  Could you be any more of a cliché?”

Chris laughed, long and loud, and Jensen couldn’t help but join in, but he stopped abruptly when Steve produced the needle.

“Oh god, Steve”

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Steve slurred, taking out a small tube and filling up the syringe.

He watched in horrified fascination as they went through the whole process. He couldn’t believe his two friends were shooting up in an alley.

The girl was slumped on the ground now, and she was smiling as if she was actually happy. Jensen couldn’t believe that someone in her position could be feeling that.  He had a sudden overwhelming urge to feel whatever she was feeling.  He didn’t want to ask though.

He was spared that ordeal, however, when Chris pulled the needle out of his arm and sighed, gesturing at Jensen.

“Dude, you should…just…try it”

Jensen seemed to be having an inner battle going on. On the one hand he’d be letting down the show, and Kripke…and Jared.  But on the other, he just needed to have all those feelings pushed aside; they were tearing him up on the inside.  Every time he saw Jared…he just felt too much. 

Chris and Steve were staring at him, their pupils blown wide, and Jensen saw nothing but euphoria shining out of them.

“Fuck it,” He said, holding out his arm.

 

‘The awful daring of a moment’s surrender

Which an age of prudence can never retract’

-          T.S. Eliot ‘The Waste Land’