Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	The Clash - London Calling
Entry tags:	fandom: supernatural rps, fic pairing: jared/jensen, fiction

Long Time Coming Chapter 5/25
Title: Long Time Coming
Genre: Angst/romance/drama
Pairings: Jared/Jensen, some Jared/Sandy
Warnings: Language, possible smut, hard drug use!
Disclaimer: Ye...yea...nope don't own them.  I am not insinuating Chris and Steve are drug peddlers either, it is merely for this fic that they are supplying Jensen so I can create angsty situations which lead to manschmexin.
Rating: 15
Summary: Jensen can't handle being around Jared anymore, not when his feelings are so strong.  So when hiatus starts and Jared notices Jensen drawing away and acting strange can he find out what's happening in time to save him?

A/N: Thanks to realscape  for being my beta :)

1~2~3~4~5~6~7~8~9~10~11~12~13~14~15~16~17~18~19~20~21~22~23~24~Epilogue~Soundtrack

TWO WEEKS LATER

“I didn’t really mean to make it a habit,” Jensen said musingly lying on his back next to Chris on the floor of his living room.

“I didn’t mean to make you make it a habit, I just wanted you to loosen up,” Chris whispered.

“I don’t blame you,” Jensen said and then sighed as the hit kicked in, “Man this is good stuff.”

He could feel Chris nodding as he started to ride his high too and he asked, “How did you know I was…you know…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah”

“Dude you’ve been moping over Jared since the day you met him,” Chris said rocking his head back and forth on the floor.

“I didn’t…I don’t…he’s with Sandy man, hell he’s probably going to propose to her any day now.”

“He cares about you”

“Not in that way,” Jensen mumbled his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth.

“You don’t know that”

Jensen laughed feeling it bubble up inside of him and he could have sworn his laugh sounded different to usual, higher pitched more…

“Dude your phone’s ringing”

Oh right…that was why.

“Jensen?”

He covered the mouthpiece and whispered, “It’s Jared,” to Chris.  Somewhere deep down he knew he should be panicking about what he could say while he really wasn’t thinking straight but he hadn’t seen Jared in days and was just happy to hear from him.

“Jared, dude, it’s good to hear from you,” Even to his own ears his voice sounded more mellow than usual.  He hoped he wasn’t being too obvious.

“You alright man?  You sound weird,” Concern laced Jared’s voice and even through the haze in his mind Jensen felt that familiar breaking sensation inside of him.  Damnit, why did he have to be so fucking nice?

“Yeah fine, so how’s…um…” Shit he couldn’t remember her name, fuck he’s going to hate me, “your dogs?”

“Oh man they’re awesome; hey you should come around and see them!”  Jared’s voice was too loud and enthusiastic.  It was hurting his brain.

He sat up disturbing Chris whose eyes were wide open and Jensen watched to see if he would blink in the next minute.  Why did Jared have to be so persistent?

“Sounds great,” Jensen managed to say.

“Alright so come over tomorrow night, we’ll have a guys night in,” Jared sounded happy and Jensen wondered why this seemed to mean so much to him.

“Sure,” He hung up and flopped back down next to Chris.  He was silent for a few minutes and then inspiration struck, “Her fucking name’s Sandy!  I knew it!”

~*~*~*~

Jensen raised his hand to buzz the doorbell horribly aware of how much he was sweating in his long sleeved shirt.  But it was necessary, Jared couldn’t know. 

He pressed the button wondering why he was so fucking nervous, this was Jared.  They had been friends for ages now and he was almost family.  Except he was pretty sure most guys didn’t want to fuck the guy who considered them a brother.

The sound of barking from within alerted him to the footsteps nearing the door and when it swung open he had plastered on a wide smile.

“Jen, man it’s good to see you!  You wouldn’t believe it’s been like three weeks already right?” 

Jared pulled him in for a hug and Jensen breathed long and deep.

“No way,” Jensen was quiet trying not to show how truly nervous he was.

“Jensen!”  A female voice floated through the hallway and he tried to make his smile wider, but it hurt.

“Sandy, good to see you again,” He said holding out his hand.

“Now, none of that,” She said brightly pulling him in for a hug as well.

Jensen wished she wouldn’t make it so hard to hate her.

“So I guess I’ll leave you boys to it,” She said slyly, “I’m not really one for beer and playstation.”

“Alright I’ll see you later,” Jared leant down to kiss her and Jensen tried to ignore the moan that escaped from Sandy’s lips.  Instead he wandered down the hall and into the kitchen where he figured Jared must have stashed the beer.

He distantly heard the door shut and grabbed a can wondering if Jared had anything stronger, he had a feeling he’d need it if tonight was going to involve him in close proximity to Jared on the sofa.

“So what have you been up to?”  Jared opened his can and gulped down a few swallows.  Jensen watched the curve of his neck and his eyes widened.

“Just catching up with friends, oh and sleeping…there’s been much sleeping.”

Jared laughed, throaty and loud and grinning at him said, “So feel like watching something where lots of shit gets blown up?”

Jensen tried to laugh but it came out as more of a giggle…oh dear.

An hour later they were settled on the sofa and Jensen could feel the heat from Jared’s leg they were so close.  On screen Bruce Willis was shooting someone and exploding things but he just couldn’t focus, a familiar jittery feeling was beginning to build up inside of him.

Not now!  Not here!

He nervously scratched at his arms feeling the scabs where the track marks were beginning to heal.  He shook his head slightly; he hadn’t been doing it for that long!  He couldn’t be hooked.

Then why did he feel like this?  His head was swimming and his throat was dry but it wasn’t good and he realised he hadn’t shot up in the past twenty four hours.  He’d wanted to be sober for Jared.

He noticed Jared was looking at him with concern evident in his eyes and he tried to suppress the shaking.

“Dude are you alright?  You look pretty sick,” Jared asked reaching out to touch his forehead.

He pulled away like he’d been burned but not before Jared touched him, “Man you’re burning up, what the hell?  Why did you come out if you were sick?”

“I’m not sick,” Jensen said and then regretted it when Jared’s eyes grew hard.

“Dude you’re running a freaking temperature and you’re shaking, if you’re not sick then what the hell’s wrong?”

Jensen realised he’d painted himself into a corner and hurriedly backtracked, “Umm…I mean I am sick yeah, sorry.  Caught it off….a….person a couple of days ago.”

Jared narrowed his eyes suspiciously but surprised Jensen by asking, “What person?”

“Why do you care?”  He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Jared’s eyes widened in shock and he reached out to grasp one of Jensen’s hands, “Because I’m your friend man!  And I know what a tough time you went through with Danneel and I’m worried about you.”

Jensen pointedly looked down at his hand which was encased in one of Jared’s massive paws and coughed discreetly pulling his hand away, “Ok thanks man.”

Jared looked like he was about to ask something else when Jensen felt the bile rise up in his throat and he ran to the bathroom hoping Jared couldn’t hear him retching.

He collapsed in front of the toilet hoping he had managed to lock the door when he had frantically run inside.

“Jensen?”  Jared knocked loudly on the door, “Let me in man”

“Not right now,” He managed to croak before groaning heavily and curling up in a ball on the floor shivering.  Not right now damnit!

“Jensen let me in!” Jared yelled, “Goddamnit Jen I’ll break the fucking door down if I have to!”

“Just…go…” Jensen felt like a cloud was invading his head and his senses were dulled.  He distantly heard a crash but couldn’t focus on it and he merely sighed dropping his head down onto the floor.

‘To be endlessly cold within and dreaming I'm alive’

-          Muse ‘Hysteria’