Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	Led Zeppelin - Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You
Entry tags:	fandom: supernatural rps, fic pairing: jared/jensen, fiction

Long Time Coming Chapter 7/25
Title: Long Time Coming
Genre: Angst/romance/drama
Pairings: Jared/Jensen, some Jared/Sandy
Warnings: Language, possible smut, hard drug use!
Disclaimer: Ye...yea...nope don't own them.  I am not insinuating Chris and Steve are drug peddlers either, it is merely for this fic that they are supplying Jensen so I can create angsty situations which lead to manschmexin.
Rating: 15
Summary: Jensen can't handle being around Jared anymore, not when his feelings are so strong.  So when hiatus starts and Jared notices Jensen drawing away and acting strange can he find out what's happening in time to save him?

A/N - Thanks to realscape  for being such an awesome beta, this chapter is improved thanks to her

1~2~3~4~5~6~7~8~9~10~11~12~13~14~15~16~17~18~19~20~21~22~23~24~Epilogue~Soundtrack

Jared had called Jensen as soon as he got home, getting his voicemail and feeling the need to apologise, even though he had no idea what for.  It was getting dark now and Jared figured Jensen was probably out and he couldn’t help the bitter thought with Chris and Steve from running through his head.

Thinking back on it, he realised he may have been a bit interrogative over this girl Jensen had met but he was just looking out for him.  They were best friends, that’s what friends did right?

“Hey Jen, it’s me…look, I’m sorry about earlier. Actually, you know what?  Sure, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what for!  So just…call me, please.”

He hung up abruptly, wishing he was better at leaving voicemails. He was pretty sure Jensen would hear it and think he was being paranoid or something.  Jensen probably wasn’t even mad at him, why would he be?  He’d looked after him all night and made sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit.  All in all he’d been an awesome best friend.  Why would Jensen be mad at him?

~**~

It was the next day during late morning when his phone rang, and he jumped as the sound reverberated through the empty house.  Sandy had gone out shopping or something else equally as mundane, and he had the space to himself.  It felt too empty and hollow though, started feeling that way ever since Jensen had rushed out the previous morning.

“Jensen?”

“Hey,” He sounded tired, and his voice was hoarse.

“Are you feeling any better?”  Jared proceeded with caution; he had a feeling something was going on, something that Jensen wasn’t telling him.  Hell, it wasn’t even a feeling anymore, it was a certainty, cemented by the way Chris had acted.

“Yeah…look, I’m sorry I ran out on you yesterday,” Jensen sighed heavily, sounding as though he was carrying the freaking weight of the world on his shoulders.  “I guess I was sicker than I thought.”

A burning feeling washed over Jared suddenly, leaving him bewildered at how strange he was feeling. What had he been thinking about?  Only how Jensen was sick suddenly from this mystery girl. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, focusing on what Jensen was saying.

Jensen was still saying something about that night and what had happened and Jared had the distinct feeling that Jensen wasn’t telling him everything, that he was holding back on him.  This both annoyed and worried him, because what the hell was happening to their friendship?

He didn’t know what he was doing but he needed answers and he spoke without thinking, “So, I was thinking you should take me up on that dinner offer,” He trailed off, suddenly unsure.  If Jensen had refused his request before because he wanted to spend time with Chris and Steve, who was to say he would accept now?

And when did Jared actually start wondering whether Jensen would accept a request to hang out?  The sudden flux in their relationship left him reeling.

“Oh…when were you thinking?”  Jensen replied, his voice trembling slightly.

Jared hoped he would get better soon, his throat was clearly troubling him.

“Well, Sandy’s around tonight, but I’d be cooking anyway,” Jared laughed, “That woman can’t cook…”

“To save her life,” Jensen interrupted, his tone tired, “I know.”

There was an awkward silence between them as Jared tried to think of something, anything, which would make his friend laugh again.  And since when did they have awkward silences?

It struck him that their friendship was ever so steadily being chipped away…but Jared had no idea by what.

“So, you can come over, like…tonight?”

“Yeah sure.” Jared didn’t realise he was holding his breath until the reply came crackling through the receiver and he let it loose, the knot in his stomach untying slightly.

“So, just come by around seven?”  Jared wondered where the easy banter had gone.  Something was definitely troubling his friend and tonight would be the perfect opportunity to find out what.

~~*~~

Jensen found himself, once again, standing nervously outside Jared’s house, imagining Sandy and Jared on the other side, happily cooking, and kissing occasionally.  His stomach flipped, and he leant heavily against the wall, trying not to retch.

He had given in last night and hunted down Steve’s dealer, frantically searching bars and clubs until he found him sitting at the back of a run down club, smirking at the people he was slowly destroying.  Jensen had introduced himself, begged and pleaded until he’d scored enough to last a few weeks. 

Then he’d taken it, shivering in the bathrooms as someone threw up in the stall next to him but it had been alright because the heroin had made it all feel better.  It had made him feel like the club was a world away from everything else and he’d spent the rest of the night there, losing himself in strangers, alcohol and heroin.  But it still didn’t mean he was hooked.

And anyway, he’d be able to survive a night with the happy couple better with the memory of the hot pleasure running through him.  The night was a fuzzy memory floating in his brain, but he kept getting glimpses and flashes of hot hands, groping and grinding, and wet mouths kissing and sucking.

He was sort of glad he couldn’t remember anything more.

He realised he was shivering, even though the air was hot and muggy and weighing down on him, and he stood up straight, stretching out a finger to ring the bell.  His head spun and he suppressed a groan, remembering the hell he’d gone through that morning coming down from his high.

The sound of barking immediately carried through the door, and then heavy footfalls. Jensen could imagine Jared bending down, stroking them lovingly and holding them back while he opened the door.

“Hey man, glad you could make it,” Jared’s voice seemed quieter, more subdued.  Jensen wondered if it was anything to do with him.

The obvious thing to do next would have been to engage in a manly hug, aided by much back slapping but, as soon as Jared moved forward, Jensen instinctively flinched back.  He was so used to trying to avoid contact with Jared by then, it was becoming a reflex.  He regretted it immediately, as hurt flitted across his friend’s face.

“Yeah, I’m glad I could make it too,” He replied, trying to make amends through his words.

Jared’s expression softened at that, and Jensen found himself smiling in answer to the bright grin being flashed at him.  Time to get those walls up Jensen, he scolded himself.

“So, you coming in or what?”  Jared ushered him through the door and down the corridor, following the smell of meat wafting in through the open back door.

“You’re barbequing?” Jensen asked, incredulously.

“Thought we’d go Texas style tonight,” Jared eyed him hopefully, waiting for some sort of positive response, but was disappointed when all he received was a weak smile.

He was unaware of the battle raging inside Jensen, one part of him wanting desperately to laugh and throw his arms around Jared, using their friendship to get closer, wanting to thank him for doing something so amazing…and the other wanted to block it all out, to forget.  It was that part which won.

“That’s great, Jared,” He said neutrally, wondering where Sandy was.

Jared frowned, where had their easygoing nicknames for each other disappeared to, and how was it their relationship was deteriorating so fast?  It seemed to have only just started, yet they were already at this point?

“So grab a plate and load her up,” He gestured at the stacks of ribs on the barbeque.

Just then Sandy walked in, perky and pretty in a summer dress, smiling and everything Jared ever wanted.

Jensen’s stomach flipped again.

“Hey Jensen,” Her smile was friendly, and open, and why the hell was she so fucking hard to hate?

His fist clenched unconsciously by his side as he gritted his teeth, smiling in reply and saying, “Hey Sandy, how you doing?”

The small talk continued for an uncomfortable few minutes, and then his phone rang.  He would wish later that he’d never picked up, never been grateful for a distraction from Jared.

But he had been, and he’d grabbed his phone and answered it as soon as it had rung once.

“Hello?”

“This Jensen?”  The voice was gruff and meant business.

“Yeah, who is this?”  He wandered off down the hallway, not wanting to give away his sudden anxiety.

“We met last night, I believe you owe me some money,” The voice took on a new tone, a sharp dangerous tone.  His stomach dived right down into his toes.

“What are you talking about?”  He tried to keep his voice calm and steady but it trembled, betraying him…he could never control that tremble.

“You were practically begging for it, you said you needed your fix, so I took pity on you.  I let you have it on credit,” The voice paused, “I trust Steve, you however, I don’t know.  So I want you to pay up, today.”

Jensen inwardly kicked himself as he remembered how he had left to go out without any money or possessions, focused only on getting his next fix.  A memory flashed back into his brain, him shouting through the smoky air at the man, begging him, promising money.

 “How much?”  Jensen’s voice was smaller, weaker.

“You bought enough for me to ask for $1,000.  But I tell you what, seeing as Steve is unreachable right now; I want you to pay up what he owes me too.”  The voice was cold, and harsh.  Jensen blinked, he definitely hadn’t brought that much, this guy was ripping him off.

“I didn’t buy that much,” He argued, his voice unsure.

“You brought the amount I said you did, don’t forget you’ve got more to lose here than I do, pretty actor boy,” the voice jeered.

It felt like someone had just doused him in icy water as he froze, fuck.

“How much does he owe you?”  Jensen was dreading the answer, already knowing how much Steve had been taking.

“Enough for me to say that if you don’t pay up, your tall leggy friend is gonna find out some pretty secret stuff about you,” The voice cut right through to his heart.

“Wha…”  He managed to gasp out, the breath leaving him as he spun around, watching Jared grin at Sandy innocently as she laughed at something he’d said, “How do you…?”

He rushed to the front door peering through the glass.

“Don’t bother looking for my guys; they’re good at what they do.”

Panic gripped him and he hung up abruptly. The walls were closing in on him, he couldn’t breathe, he had to get out.  He had to get away from Jared, find the money, do anything, but if they hurt Jared…his heart clenched at the thought.

His clasped the door handle and wrenched it open, the hinges squeaking, making the dogs bark as they recognised the noise.

“Jensen?”  Jared called from within the house, but he was already gone, running down the street, the wind battering his face as the hot air rushed past him.

 

‘Love is a possible strength in an actual weakness’

-          Thomas Hardy ‘Far From The Madding Crowd’