Jared sat under the hot sun, listening to Jensen talk quietly about his week, and smiled at the positive attitude he seemed to have adopted.
“So, we have meetings like that pretty much everyday. It’s…taking some getting used to. I just missed you,” Jensen turned his head shyly to meet Jared’s eyes.
Jensen still looked terrible, the bags under his eyes hadn’t decreased at all, and his face was pale and wan. However, he had a more positive air to him and, as he looked out at Jared from under his eyelashes, Jared had a sudden urge to just lean down and kiss him.
Which he then immediately tried to do, and was close to succeeding, until Jensen placed a palm flat against his chest and pushed him away.
“Not here Jay,” Jensen hissed, looking around warily.
Jared blinked, and risked a glance around the garden, a large circle of freshly cut grass wafting the smell of sunshine and fresh green around in the hot, still air, “There’s no one here Jen.”
Jensen nodded but avoided Jared’s gaze, “I just don’t…not here ok?”
Jared blinked and bit his lip in confusion. Was this Jensen freaking out, or was it actually a rational thing to want to do? This place did hold bad memories for Jensen after all, “Ok. Ok Jen, that’s fine.”
“We can…go upstairs if you want,” Jensen burst out quickly in one breath, his cheeks flushing a heady shade of red.
Jared leaned back on the bench, stretching his legs out akimbo next to Jensen’s, and nudged him gently with his knee, “Naw Jen, I’m happy hanging here with you. I don’t want to…rush it.”
He knew he’d said the right thing when a relieved smile crossed Jensen’s face, but then, suddenly, he was grinning, a bright smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corner, and his whole face change from glum to excited, optimistic, “One week down, Jay.”
Jared grinned back, equally as happy, and brimming with love and desire, “One week down, Jen.”
~**~
Jared took a deep breath, and knocked on the door, hoping that he wasn’t making a stupid mistake. It opened slowly, and he looked up into defensive, angry eyes.
“What’re you doing here?”
“Chris,” he spoke in a calm voice, “Hi, sorry to…drop in like this but…”
“What do you want Jared?” The response was short and clipped, angry.
“I thought you might want an update on Jensen. I’m not here to lecture; whatever the hell you’re doing with your life isn’t anything to do with me. You were never my friends, you were Jensen’s friends.”
Chris blinked, and seemed to deliberate internally for a few seconds, then, “Alright. So, how’s he doing?”
“You can go visit him, you know; he’d like to see you.”
“Steve and me, we thought maybe, it would be best if we didn’t. If we…waited until he was out, until he was better,” Chris looked into his eyes, begging him to understand.
And Jared did, “He’s happier, it’s been two weeks now, and he only has another two left. The counsellors over there say that if I can give him full support, and promise to be there for him, then he’ll be fine once he’s released.”
Chris opened his mouth to ask how? How can you be sure you can control him? But Jared beat him to it, “I know he’ll listen to me, Chris. And we’re going to make this work.”
Chris nodded slowly; looking into Jared’s eyes, he could actually believe that. The man was sincere, sincere, and fucking hopelessly in love with his friend.
“So he’ll be fine for when filming starts again?”
“I hope so. I dunno, man, we might have to tell Kripke anyway. He’s gonna know something is up. Hell, he’s got fucking scars all over his arms.”
“Yeah, well,” Chris stopped short, searching for the words, “Just…look after him man. I don’t think…I guess our relationship is kinda screwed up for now.”
Jared didn’t answer; he let his eyes do the talking, let the pain and betrayal show. He didn’t think he could forgive them for the part they’d played in Jensen’s downward spiral, but he was sorry that they couldn’t be there for Jensen.
“So…send him our love Jared. And tell him, I mean, I know it doesn’t mean anything now, but tell him I’m, we’re, sorry.”
Jared was about to ask where Chris and Steve were in their subsequent spirals. If they were they stopping? Would they do what Jensen had been brave enough to do, and seek help? But he stopped himself; it wasn’t his business, they weren’t his responsibility, and he couldn’t deal with having to think about them as well.
“Sure Chris,” Jared said awkwardly, already turning to leave. Then he stopped suddenly and turned around, a crooked smile gracing his lips, “And sorry I punched you.”
~**~
The days crawled by, inching slowly forwards, as time seemed stuck in a molasses like motion. It crept and shuffled along, but it moved. And soon enough, it was Jensen’s last week. He’d quickly got over the reluctance he had felt towards displays of affection in the centre, much to Jared’s pleasure.
They’d spent their three visits together talking and kissing, long and slow, leisurely movements on the tiny bed in Jensen’s allotted room. Each time, Jared had waited impatiently, itching to see Jensen, knowing he was just on the other side of a wall, while Jensen tapped his fingers impatiently in a meeting, staring at the hands of the clock like he was back in high school, and waiting for class to end.
The receptionist and the rest of the people in his meetings smiled at them, all hoping for the best for their troubles. They were never open with their relationship, but it was pretty damn hard to avoid tipping people off, especially when Jensen would practically run out of the meeting, straight to where he knew Jared would be waiting.
On Jared’s last visit, Jensen had taken him by the hand and led him up to his room, pushing him down on the bed, and undoing his belt, in one swift movement.
“Jen…what…you doing?” Jared managed to ask between moans, as Jensen nipped and sucked on any skin that was exposed, as he pushed Jared’s shirt up.
Jensen raised an eyebrow and looked at Jared, “What the fuck does it look like I’m doing Jay?”
“You don’t have to…I’m fine…I…” Jared gasped, lifting his head to watch, as Jensen pulled his trousers and boxers down, not even bothering to get them all the way off, just leaving them crumpled around his ankles.
“Shut up, Jared. I want to do this,” Jensen said huskily, his voice low and deep, before promptly lowering his head to lick a hot stripe up the length of Jared’s erection.
“Holy fuck Jen,” Jared jerked up, unable to decide whether he should just let his head flop back onto the bed, and go with it, or keep it raised, straining his muscles so he could watch.
Jensen just grinned, and held Jared’s hips down with his hands, before taking Jared’s cock in his mouth, trying to take as much as he could. He sucked and hollowed his cheeks, licking and tasting, his senses overloaded with everything that was Jared.
Jared’s moan, the nonsensical babbling he was emitting, was going straight to Jensen’s cock, and he palmed his erection through his jeans as he sucked, letting the pleasure build up inside of him. He concentrated on creating the same feeling in Jared, as they edged closer and closer to the brink together, rising up as one on the crest of their climax.
Jared tried to buck his hips up, seeking more heat, more tongue and wet friction, but Jensen stopped him, wanting to go at his pace.
“Jesus, Jen,” Jared moaned, biting his lip in frustration, “Stop fucking with me, come on.”
Jensen slid his hand down inside his boxers, moaning around Jared’s cock as he jerked himself off, before he slid his mouth off Jared’s cock and blew lightly across the head, teasing.
“Jen, I’m gonna…nngg…”
“Do it then,” Jensen replied, circling his hand around Jared’s cock, and stroking and twisting in perfect time with his other hand, which was circled around his own cock.
Jared thrust up once, twice, and came hot and wet over Jensen’s fist, and that was it. Jensen groaned and jerked forwards, coming in his boxers, the material sticky and wet, as he milked himself through the pleasure.
Jensen collapsed back onto the bed next to Jared, sprawling their limbs out, tangled together as they panted, sweaty and hot.
Jensen reached a hand up and ran his fingers through the hair sticking to Jared’s forehead, running the silky strands through his fingers, and smiling softly.
“What?” Jared asked, a smile playing around the corner of his mouth.
“Nothing, just…thinking,” Jensen replied elusively.
“About good things, right?” Jared asked quietly.
“About you,” Jensen answered truthfully.
Jared snorted, “So, very good things then.”
Jensen laughed, and rolled over onto his back, keeping his fingers entwined in Jared’s hair, but staring at the ceiling, slightly overcome by the intimacy of the moment.
“Jen, you alright?”
There was a frightening moment of silence, where any number of responses ran through Jared’s mind, but then Jensen exhaled, and smiled calmly, “Yeah…yeah I am.”
~**~
Jared smoothed his hands over the bedspread, flattening out the wrinkles, and patting it contentedly afterwards. He wasn’t sure whether Jensen would want his own room, or not. He certainly had nothing against sharing a room, sharing a bed.
But he’d offer Jensen the choice.
He couldn’t believe the four weeks were up already, each week had seemed so slow, the seconds meandering by. But now that it was over, it seemed too rushed, too sudden. What if Jensen wasn’t ready? What if he wasn’t…fixed?
A quick glance at his watch told him it was time to leave, to bring Jensen back…home. It was his home; he’d damn well spent enough time there.
He spent the drive nervously jiggling his knee, and wondering why exactly he was so freaking nervous. Jensen had been living at his house before this. Ah yes, but then you were just friends, a small voice in the back of his head said.
He shushed it hurriedly, and breathed in deeply, a calming deep breath, as he pulled up outside the centre. Jensen would be in there, waiting, with his bags packed, ready to go. Eager to leave and get back out in the real world.
He swallowed and got out of the car, nodding to the receptionist familiarly as he entered the lobby.
“Mr Ackles will be down in a few minutes,” she said, interpreting the questioning glance he threw her accurately.
“Oh right, thanks,” he said, and managed to fold himself into one of the tiny chairs lining the wall, tapping his knee with his fingers nervously. Why was he so freaking nervous all of a sudden? This was Jensen. His best friend, Jensen. His lover, Jensen. Nothing had changed. But everything had changed.
A sudden thump broke him from his reverie, and he stood up just as Jensen backed into the lobby, dragging a suitcase behind him, and grunting with exertion.
“Jen”
He turned, startled, and grinned widely at Jared, “Dude, I’m so ready to get out of here”
Jared grinned back, although his wasn’t as bright, wasn’t as wide, because was Jensen ready?
“Ok then, let’s get this show on the road,” he clapped his hands together, and went to help Jensen with his bag, ending up carrying it all by himself, as Jensen cheerily waved goodbye to the receptionist.
“Dude, you could help a little you know,” Jared puffed, as he lugged the bag to his car.
Jensen just walked slowly behind him and said casually, “Nah, I’m alright back here actually.”
Jared smirked, “You’re so checking out my ass, aren’t you?”
Jensen spluttered over his words, and Jared wiggled his hips a little, “I am not! You wish, Padalecki.”
Jared turned and cocked an eyebrow, “Oh, I wish for a whole lot more than that, Smeckles.”
“You did not just call me Smeckles. I thought we were over that”
“You smell, and you have freckles, it makes sense”
“I smell amazing”
“Yeah, you do,” Jared said, lacing his words with as much innuendo as possible, and smirking in satisfaction, as Jensen flushed at the unexpected words.
“Oh”
Jared laughed, and lifted the suitcase into the boot of his car, “Come on Smeckles, let’s go home.”
“When it seems that someone has shattered your dreams....pick up even the smallest of pieces and use them to build bigger and better dreams."
- Anonymous
Feedback is just as rockin as the metallicar =]
Next Chapter...![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
credulesque) wrote,
groggy
